Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer
Things reached a point a while ago where I couldn't validate everyone.
To validate her meant the kids weren't.
I read some stuff tonight about borderline personality disorder. It's rare to show up at her age, but it is possible. The stuff that was described matched my experience very closely. I think it's been progressing for about 6 years now.
I also think the disrupted sleep and alcohol caused their own issues.
Letting go is hard. I hung on through years of health issues looking for answers to get her back, expecting things to improve as her health improved.
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I feel for you so much as your situation has a frightening number of similarities to my own. She drinks a lot more the last couple years and does not sleep well. On top of that our son who is in the spectrum and in his 20s and struggles with his own stuff definitely is tough on her emotionally .
My wife's therapist has suggested that she most likely has developed BPD on top of her PTSD and depression from the traumas she endured as a child. On one hand I feel for her so much as I know enough about that time to be in awe that she is still here with us after all she has been though.
On the other hand I know I'm a fixer both in my job and my mindset especially when folks I care about have problems , I want to help, even to the point of doing myself harm emotionally. .
I know that I can't fix her problems but I am terrible at convincing myself of that fact .
I am so very sorry for what you are going through and would like to say thank you for sharing as I find your words show me that I'm not alone in this struggle and its not just me that feels like this. You show far more strength then I can muster of late but I am just at the beginning of this situation , hopefully with time I can learn to be stronger as well. In reality I keep hoping we can turn this around but perhaps that's pipe dream.