Lol, “ I’m durable”. Like the washing machine that can get out of wack from lop sided loads, but a good strong kick and it’s good to go for the next load. Not being mean here but reading your description of being durable is a way of being that I have not heard before.

When alcoholism is present in a relationship that becomes something everyone including the alcoholic lives around.

RD, your wife knows you are durable and she also knows that her threats of divorce gets her control too. You are just part of what she has lived off of but she can’t give you what you want.

Yes, often there is some kind of childhood trauma or injury that contributed to the development of what you experience with your wife. You can’t fix it and you could not fix your alcoholic parent either.