Thanks @TheGal. I do not have professional help. I've seen a dozen therapists over the last 10+ years and they've never helped. Plus, now you can't get into see one and they cost an arm and a leg.

Giving up my dog is still a possibility. She single-handedly keeps me alive but my life isn't fair to her. Plus if she were safe with a better family, that makes decisions a little easier for me. Yesterday evening and today were a little better because my brain has slowed way down. I still need to get her into a vet for shots so at least I can get her kenneled if necessary. My life is pretty bleak (like everyone here) and I just don't see it getting better. The least I can do is make sure that she is OK.

Thanks again.