Oh dear T,

Is it time for a truly heartfelt letter? I had been avoiding this I think. Today helped me to see how much I have truly been avoiding opening up to you. For a hundred different reasons it feels. Some by choice, maybe, some not. But it feels like it might be time for us to turn our attention towards this weird relationship. God it still feels so wrong saying that. It feels so wrong that I might need to have a relationship with you. Why can't I just do this without it? Why can't I just do this by pretending you aren't actually there?

Do I honestly think I can? No. No I don't. And I hate that.