Hi Skeezyks, thank you so much for sharing your experiences too, it's incredibly reassuring to know that others have similar behaviours, it seems to be a normal coping mechanism to difficult past experiences. I had an extremely traumatic abusive childhood and left my family a few years ago - I guess because I hadn't experienced this for myself, I am new to it and just want to help my partner however I can. Understanding it is a good start. I've seen 5 counsellors and psychologists, so have worked through my past, which might be a difference, I suppose. But at least now I know it's a coping mechanism that people find helpful. This forum and all the lovely people happy to share their experiences have been so helpful already, experts by experience! So, thank you for sharing, and I hope that you are feeling good today, or at least okay. I'm certainly grateful for your input, and that you cared to take the time to respond, you and all who have responded are much appreciated.