Ok. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost year, and we've been best friends much longer than that. I guess I've decided that he's the one I'd really like to spend the rest of my life with if we can work it out. One problem I'm trying to deal with is my relationship with his family. I know that in a married relationship, having a decent relationship with your spouse's family is a necessity, and he knows it too.

Don't get me wrong, I like his family quite a bit. The problem is that when I'm spending time with him and his family, I often wind up triggered about past traumatic experiences with my family. His father in particular gives me a hard time. Him and his father wind up in yelling matches almost every time we go to his house. The yelling gets so intense that I often think I'm going to break down and cry. He's completely accustomed to it and feels that its just the way they communicate, and assures me they have a good relationship. I honor what he feels and I'm sure its true. But it completely triggers me and even knowing that its not the same as my family, it disturbs me and I always seem to wind up having a bad time over their house. I quiet down, I'm on the verge of tears - I try to keep a sense of humor about it but I just don't like yelling and confrontation. It even put my boyfriend on the verge of tears once - I'm trying to figure out why every other time he's come out of it with a good sense of humor and that time he was almost crying.

Anyway, he told me that if this relationship is going to work I have to learn to feel comfortable with his family. I know that, its common sense. But I don't know how. I'm going to get a therapist as soon as I get the courage to call, and I'm sure that will help. But if anybody has any advice or has had a similar experience, a reply would be helpful and I'd be grateful!

Thanks.