The restlessness is starting to come through. I’m not tapping my foot but I feel the need to walk very fast. I decided a couple of weeks ago to do 10-15 squats or lunges in the bathroom every time I go (which is a lot, I drink a lot of water) to build up my leg strength so that’s helping too. I’m going to add an arm routine with weights on my lunch break after I’m healed from surgery. I just want to be stronger. I’ll feel less vulnerable that way. I don’t think I’ll ever be strong enough to kick someone’s butt lol but I might be able to get away from an attack.

Anxiety about the surgery is starting to creep in. I know I will be triggered because it will be a hospital setting where I will have to wear a gown and it will remind me of the psych ER and how sick I was in July. But I will use safety statements to stay present. I also have an immense fear of anesthesia, always have. It’s really just light sedation but I just don’t like being out of control of my body. Ugh. I’ll be ok though.