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Originally Posted by DeeeSchmeee68
Feeling baffled and confused. My friend is staying with me and is experiencing a very deep depressive episode. Every day she talks non-stop about her problems and it's triggering me. I can't get a word in at all before she turns it back about her. I can see how distraught she is and recognize her suffering
Today she came to my sons(I'm watching my 3 year old grandson) brought us coffee and started in complaining again. I was extra triggered and stressed while trying to talk AND watch my grandson. She has a very fatalistic attitude and nothing I was saying was helping. She was not open to receive any point of view. I tried to interject and point out times when she was strong and she started crying and accused me of invalidating her and that she thought I was the one person who understood her and felt like I was competing with dysfunction. Then she left..
I feel bad. I feel triggered. I want to message her and say something like "I am struggling with the intensity of your emotions and it's triggering for me. I meant no harm but I am not trained to counsel in these extreme situations"
Do you think that would make her more upset? Should I not say anything? When she's talking I feel held hostage and am scared to say anything for fear of escalating things just like they did.
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Since it is so triggering for you, try to verbally set a boundary with her to protect yourself. If she HAS to stay with you, set this boundary of time and space: "When you are home, I need space from you, so when you are [in this room], I will need to be [in this room]. Or, make yourself busy so that you aren't readily available for your friend to emotionally abuse you by venting her problems to you.
If that doesn't work, you have every legal right to tell her...not ask...but tell her to leave your house. Her accommodations after that is not your responsibility. You can also call your local county crisis line, report your friend, and ask them to take her to inpatient. They will send a social worker and an ambulance. Then, whatever happens to her is her responsibility.