First of all welcome to PC. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) even if only cyber hugs, i know they make some people, me included, feel better. You are obviously very depressed and lonely and i hear you. There is always hope, no matter what anyone goes through, there is hope. You have come to a site full of people with terrible emotional and physical pain and it is so very supportive here. It saved my life, and there are so many caring and compassionate souls here. You are worth listening to, everyone is ....

I am nota doctor or a therapist, just someone who has been where you are .... i would advise you to speak to your therapist as sonn as possible and discuss your meds for a bigger dose, a different kind of med. It is so comforting to know you have someone to spill all of these feelings out to. I admire your strength for not falling in with 'friends'who take drugs and try to escape in that way. You are obviously still grieving for your mom, i dont know your circumstances but would it be easier or even possible to move into campus accommodation? You are not responsible solely for your dads care ... especially if you are going through education. I am from the UK so i'm sorry if i sound a bit ignorant on the accommodation stuff .... it works differently here i think.

Please know that you can keep reaching out here, there are so many people who will be pleased to listen and give better advice than me ....Iam so sorry you are feeling so down, please go and see your counsellor asap, you can't carry this burden alone ....

do you have siblings or a special close friend you can trust?

Know my thoughts are with you and you will get through this, reading between the lines you are a strong person and you seem to know the reasons you are feeling like this .... don't ever think you are not worth listening to .... you are a person and deserve to be heard .... you will be in my thoughts and prayers and please please keep reaching out and talking here ... sometimes it helps to write or journal each day too ...

Take care of YOU ..... love Jinnyann xoxoxoxoxo