Today was difficult but its almost over. It was hard to be around people and run WRAP group. It was hard to tell Ben how low I feel today and be replied with “don’t be depressed.” I don’t have time to shut down. It’s like my mind is doing it anyway. I’ve never worn clothes two days in a row to work but this morning my mind was so muddled I couldn’t think of any other solution to picking out clothes to wear.

I tried getting help when I was manic. I’d been manic for months. He said to go to therapy more often. I told my t that today (he’s been on vacation). He was upset bc he said that Np made assumptions about me before trying to get to know me and that my mood is clearly cycling and any practitioner would know that. I see my new pdoc Wednesday and I hope they don’t reschedule again. I’ve been waiting a couple months. M

I don’t have time for this. I’m using my dbt skills to do opposite action and distress tolerance. My t said like three times I look like I just don’t feel well mentally at all.

And I just don’t.