Hello!
These days I experienced a situation which made me feel uncomfortable and got me a little bit disappointed and angry towards a very good friend of mine and I would like to share it with you and ask for opinions to see if I am right or wrong.
I have a very good friend of mine, I consider him as a family. He is nice and we have been friends a for about ten years. He is gay but he does not reveal it to anybody, he is cautious but he trusted me.
Personally, I believe that the personal life of each person is private and one can do whatever they want and make them happy, but, as I said it is private.
About 4 years ago, he made a relationship with a guy I did not like so much but I did not tell him anything at first because I did not want to spoil his happiness. However, sometimes I felt uncomfortable since he insisted on coming to my house with him to have a snack and see a movie and he kissed or did other similar love gestures in front of me. If there were other people with me I would not feel so bad but since that happened just in front of me I could not feel good but uncomfortable.. When I found the courage to tell him that I would not like to be the third part of a company and I could not see these, besides I do not have much in common with his boyfriend, he got mad and stopped talking to me for 2 years. During this period I had a serious illness and I was operated but even then he did not approach me to talk and be friends again. He returned when he broke up with him. I felt embarrassed but I did not say anything since I love him and have a good time with him although I became sad..
We were good again until last Christmas.. I went to my hometown to spend the vacation with my family and I invited him since he knows my family and some friends. We had plans to see some people, to go to the theatre, some restaurants etc.
The first two days were OK. Then, he started searching on a dating app for a guy... I saw him but I thought he was messaging some friends he already had, but he wanted to find someone. One evening he told me he would go out with a guy he met on the app, OK. The other night he told me he would go for sex to his house. I was a little bit shocked since this is private life and I was shocked that he went for sex with a stranger. He told me that the other day he would come home at about 8 in the morning and he asked me if I would wake up.. I said yes and the following day he texted me at 10 that he was coming home ...he did not put himself to trouble to text me earlier not to wake up so early.. I was shocked to see him with swollen lips and smelling wine.. I felt awkward..
The last night before returning back from holidays my family wanted to treat us a dinner at an Italian restaurant. I asked him if he was OK with this and he said yes. Before dinner he told me that he would sleep to his friend's house and at the restaurant, he was all the time on the app, did not participate much to the conversation with us and then he left leaving us alone... my family was disappointed..the following day I waited all morning without texting me what time he would come to open the door for him since I did not have a spare key to give him.
My problem.. I feel that he does not respect me or my family, that he used me to have a house to stay and do what he wanted...we had plans to go to the theatre, trips etc but he made a plan of his own but he had my house as a base to have his stuff... I cannot understand why he was so eager to find someone for sex in my hometown, miles away from the place he lives (travel by plane) and during the time he is an invite to my house and family...
having in mind what had happened the previous years I feel that he considers me as someone to fill his empty hours only, he is not a real friend... what do you think?