I have to lie to prospective employers and tell them that I was laid off vs let go for other reasons. I also have to pretend that the job I did was the job I was hired to do and I have to hide the fact that I also supported my team in addition to my content responsibilities.

Yesterday was a good day and I felt much more ok with things. And today I’m not ok and I don’t feel ok with things.

I have to obtain a high enough salary to afford my rent and expenses and can’t flex on that. If I could at least lower my salary I could likely have more opportunities available to me. I feel inwardly that my current skill set doesn’t warrant the salary I need to ask for, although my last employer gave me that salary as a fair assessment of my market value given my years of experience in the industry.

I may need to complete a free online course to keep my knowledge fresh. I have memory issues and forget a lot that I’ve learned so I need to read up and keep my knowledge available to me.

Once again I'm scared. I need to take anti anxiety meds every day now to calm my nerves.

I can’t move because I don’t have the money to move. I could potentially get a roommate, but that is not appealing whatsoever. The last time I lived with a stranger it turned into a nightmare situation. My roommate was an awful person, and I didn’t know this beforehand.

I feel like the universe is handing me a no win situation.

I need to get interviews asap. I need to study up. I need to buckle down and problem solve.

I so wish I could lean on my husband for moral support but I cannot. I cannot open that door - that would be a huge mistake.

I have to turn my mentality around. I must in order to get through this successfully.