One thought, dear reader, that always crossed my mind is what would happen if I uncovered my mental illness in public. On Facebook. And to all of my friends, relatives and such. Very few knows what I actually have (on paper bipolar “unspecified”, until my private psychologist last week explained that I have bipolar type 2). And especially regarding that my last job had such negative impact on my mental health (despite that my former boss knew all about this and went even on meeting even with a doctor with me).

Question is: shall I live like I do and keep it in a special, secret circle? Or not? My mom told me about this and that it has its - cons. And only cons. That people will never ever see me as I once was. But a part of me just say “go for it” and “relieve the burden”. However, it’s easy said than done, living in a country where people on media talks a lot about mental illness and show kindness and support, while reality is much, much different. I don’t know anymore, to be honest.

I’m thinking if you start to date people, when is that right moment to say what you really have in your luggage? Or will you scare them away? And if you decide to tell them later in the relationship, what will the consequences be? That is why I was single all this time. I had relationships, but never long lasting. And now I’m at that point that I might tell my status and diagnosis, if that lady is very much interested with me. Instead of telling much later - or telling its “just depression”.

Well, no easy text here this time, dear reader. Perhaps it’s those difficult texts that is those I might learn from. That I share my knowledge and experience with You here, even if it’s under an pseudonym. Have a nice Saturday, dear reader.

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