Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete
I don't even know why he bought all of that stuff. I feel like I should have done something more for him. I know he was being abusive towards me, but I still feel like I should have done a better job. Maybe he wouldn't have done what he did.
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Having been through that thought pattern—whether it’s an abusive parent or an abusive partner or an abusive workplace—it’s a way the abuse continues long after the fact.
Yeah, sure, anyone who’s been the victim of abuse can find
something different they could have done or been better at. But here’s the thing: if you’re responsible for any mistakes you made, well, so is the abuser. And they are responsible for the abuse or worse.
tl;dr post hoc isn’t proper hoc, correlation =/= causation.