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Echoes said:
Remember there is a lot of fear, apprehension about this which probably was stirred up in the lesson at school.

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Yes, I sensed a lot of fear in his questions. I think I did a good job reinforcing that the changes he is about to experience are normal and that now he knows more about what is going on it won't be as scary.

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thelostone said:
all you can do is answer as honestly and openly as possible. reassure that you will always do so and that is ok for him to ask.

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The more I think about how this exchange went the better I feel about how I handled it. He initially talked to me about the lesson while we walk home from the bus stop. Even when we got to the home we stood in the yard for another 10 minutes or so as he share more about what he had learned. This to me indicates that my initial reaction and responses didn't make him too uncomfortable. Especially since on a typical day getting him to talk about his school day is like pulling teeth.

Also, last night I was watching TV and he came out and started initiated the discussion again. This time some of what he shared was clearly not something that was likely presented during the school lesson. I could tell he was trying to connect the information from school with assumptions and terms he's heard in his peer group or from TV. It was obvious that he was processing stuff and some of his previous assumptions were being challenged by this new information. It was actually pretty comical to see him thinking and then having the guts to asks for clarification. At one point he asked, "people can't be both sexes, right? I could tell that what he was really trying to put together was what being bisexual really meant. Of course me wanting to be technically correct I said something like..."Well, actually there is a very rare condition where a person can have both male and female parts. They are called hermaphrodites. This condition in humans is very rare but in other species like worms its how they are made. Well this set off an explosion in his head and the conversation got really silly and we were both laughing really hard. This is where I eventually had to hold up my hand and say lets stop here. Before I sent him to bed, I realized I really hadn't answered is real question and frankly I really didn't want to. I don't know I was OK with discussing the anatomical stuff, but love, attraction, relationships... I don't know. I didn't want to drop the discussion with him still confused so.. I said something to the effect of, 'I think what you were really asking about people being both sexes was because you've heard people say someone is bi or bisexual.' He shyly said yes. I said I really don't think this topic was discussed in your school lesson, right? He said no, we were just talking about it on the bus. I simply said words like bi and gay aren't about what body parts someone has. They are more about how someone feels inside. Who they like or who they are attracted to. You'll understand this more as you get older, OK? He seemed satisfied with this and went to bed.

Reflecting on this exchange today, I might have allow it to got a bit too far but I'm OK with it. Although stressful at times, I enjoyed getting to know this emerging man of mine a little more. At least he knows that I am willing to talk with him about "growth & development." I am definitely NOT my parents! So I am glad to see at least that pattern broken. I've also realized the past few days that I was able to keep my fears and anxieties out of the conversation. I just hope I am able see my son as an individual and my past separate from the present.

Thelostone, as for your suggesting that Dad broach this subject with him. They have kind of a rocky relationship at the moment. I did mention to my H that our son had the "birds and bees" talk in school the other day and had a lot of questions. Hinting that he might want to talk about it with him. He didn't, but at least he is aware that questions might be coming. I'm kind of glad my son decided to come to me though. My H would likely have made jokes, been blunt, and would have been very opinionated when the sexual preference topic was touched on. I do however hope he will step up and handle any further discussions about wet dreams and the like.

Sorry for the long and maybe too detailed post. Just wanted you all to know that your comments were very helpful and I am feeling a lot better about things now. THANK YOU