I don't know whats wrong with me, everytime I go to therapy there is so much I want to say but then I get there and can hardley say anything, or I am all over the place.

My T asked me tuesday if I think I am ready to deal with the hard stuff, how the he** and I suppose to know, I have never done this before. She says maybe we should wait till your done school, I don't graduate till december of next year, so I said what about my insurance, she said she just calls them up and extends and we deal with other stuff in the process.

Her whole thought is that I have no support apart from her, since two of my abusers are family, my family doesn't believe or support me. If my family doesn't believe me how the heck does she think I can tell a friend. She tells me we need to work on my self esteem, ..wow, ...that made me feel great.

Ugh......im am just so frustrated with this, It makes me feel like I haven't done anything in therapy, I have been there 5 months already and still haven't really talked about "stuff". Maybe I should just quit. I get this feeling that she is totally annoyed with me.

I told her I stink at T, of course her response is no you don't, I have seen change since you have come. Then I said, I feel like I completely waste your time. Her answer is no you don't.

I feel like I am a screw up in it, I have all this crap inside but it won't come out. Why the he** can't I just say it....