I ended up rather triggered by backup backup T (K) today. I mean, it started when I pulled into the parking lot, as it was the same building complex (sort of like a strip mall of offices) as ex-MC and ex-T. I knew it was there, and I'd been in this exact office since terminating with ex-MC to see my then-p-doc. But I also haven't been in that parking lot since the pandemic.

Plus she was asking a bunch of things that a T would normally ask in an intake about my history, so talking about some of that triggered me. I asked partway through if it was a 45-, 50-, or 60-minute session, so I'd know when to wrap up. She said any of those is fine, let's go with 50. I said OK. When we were at the 50-minute mark, I was in a weird place. I asked, "Is it possible for us to go to 60 minutes instead?" She agreed. I felt a bit better from talking those 10 minutes.

I'm supposed to see her at 10 am Wednesday, but she said I can let her know if I want to cancel if I give 24 hours notice. So I'm going to think about it.

I should have spent more time talking about stuff regarding my D--well, present stuff, as I did give her some history--as she has some experience working with autistic kids, including in our school system. But she was also saying how great our school system is, including for kids with special needs, when I have some doubts about it (both from my own experience and from what some others in a group I'm in have said--though they're biased), so I think that sort of turned me off to it a bit? Maybe I could spend the next session talking more about D's current issues to see if she has any insight? I don't know.

And I don't know that I got the warmth from her that Dr. T was saying--I mean, she wasn't *cold*, but R seems much warmer, just naturally. I don't know... I also felt like I was all over the place, trying to settle on what I wanted to talk about, though part of that was her asking questions, too.