Thank you for those good suggestions. Swiss Miss hot chocolate is how I start most days. I did just take a long, warm bubble bath, followed by a shower and shampoo. (That's my accomplishment for the day.) I did cook a TV dinner in the microwave, which tasted ok. Now I'm having ice cream for dessert. The bath and the meal sort of helped. I'm watching my talking heads TV shows that analyze the news. That's my nightly habit.

I spend an awful lot of time in front of the TV. I think it's because I feel less alone. In the kitchen, I tune the radio to whatever talk show I can find.

I'm used to being alone a lot. But this is too much. When I think I should find something in my community to get involved in, I start to imagine that not going well. I've always suffered from social anxiety, bordering on phobia. I believe I'll have to force myself. I think I can force myself, but I keep putting it off.

This evening I started to have mounting anxiety. I took an extra pain pill (Vicodin.) It helped me to feel more relaxed. I rarely do that. But I was getting desperate to feel less bad. I was getting very worried that I was heading into a worse state of mind.

I agree that I have to be nice to myself. When I criticize myself harshly, I just get more depressed. Mornings are the worst. I dread tomorrow because I'll wake up not wanting to do anything. It's been like that for too many days.