Open Eyes, I still struggle with seeing her as an alcoholic.

I think because, in my prior experience, heavy drinkers drank to get drunk.... Oftentimes falling down blackout drunk.

I've never seen that with my wife. She has a regular intake of wine spread across hours. If a wine bottle is 5 drinks, she would have 5-6 drinks, sometimes more, spread across 8 hours or more. She said it took the edge off chronic nerve pain.

The amount of alcohol per hour meant she was never drunk.... Less than one drink per hour. But it's all day.

I never viewed it for what it was, I guess.

Did I alert her it was a lot? Yes
Did she say numerous times she would quit? Yes
Did she? No
Did she become defensive if that was pointed out? Yes
Did I raise concerns that the steady mix of depressant and antidepressants was a concern? Yes.
Did I raise a concern it could be causing other health problems she had? Yes.
Did she drink more than I was aware? Probably.
Did she understate how much she drank? Yes
Did she have other options for pain control? Yes

Do I have a concern that the alcohol and medication, or the cumulative effect of the alcohol contributed to memory gaps? Oh yes

Do I think she got blackout falling down drunk? No, I
Know she didn't.

RDM