Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Thank you for those good suggestions. Swiss Miss hot chocolate is how I start most days. I did just take a long, warm bubble bath, followed by a shower and shampoo. (That's my accomplishment for the day.) I did cook a TV dinner in the microwave, which tasted ok. Now I'm having ice cream for dessert. The bath and the meal sort of helped. I'm watching my talking heads TV shows that analyze the news. That's my nightly habit.
I spend an awful lot of time in front of the TV. I think it's because I feel less alone. In the kitchen, I tune the radio to whatever talk show I can find.
I'm used to being alone a lot. But this is too much. When I think I should find something in my community to get involved in, I start to imagine that not going well. I've always suffered from social anxiety, bordering on phobia. I believe I'll have to force myself. I think I can force myself, but I keep putting it off.
This evening I started to have mounting anxiety. I took an extra pain pill (Vicodin.) It helped me to feel more relaxed. I rarely do that. But I was getting desperate to feel less bad. I was getting very worried that I was heading into a worse state of mind.
I agree that I have to be nice to myself. When I criticize myself harshly, I just get more depressed. Mornings are the worst. I dread tomorrow because I'll wake up not wanting to do anything. It's been like that for too many days.
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Hi Rose, The sympthoms you decribe is part of the depression diagnose (and you know it). Depression become worse when you have too high demands on yourself. If you have anxiety in addition, it is not good to look at yourself as someone who are not good enough to do what is expected.
I know that at your place it is not easy to get treatment (you have told so), but please try to follow an app or something (I have found that what works best for me is CBT). In CBT you are to callenge you "false belief" about that you are not doing enough with another thought, perhaps that you are tired after many years with stressful situations and that that is okay. Here are some CBT forms for free. You can load them down at the library if you don't have a printer.
Free CBT Worksheets | Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Exercises | the Think CBT Workbook
It is limited what you can get of help if you cannot pay for it. CBT should be a good alternative because it has been scientifly proven that it works for many people.
I am not trying to push my ideas about what I like best upon you, only trying to see what is most realistic. If you like another sort of therapy, google it and see if there are any apps or selfhelp books for it.
If you have anxiety, you need to learn a type of relaxation exercise that you can use in an "here and now" situation. As an example: If you want to join a knitting group, you think of that when you are doing your relaxation exercises. After sevral days (or perhaps two weeks) with the same relaxation exercises, it is time to visit the group and do the exercises inside yourself (watch your breath) when you are visiting.
(While you are doing self help it can be a good idea to have online contact with the DBSA alliance so you at least see some people).
I know of a very good anti-depression book that helped me some years ago. PM me if you want the title. I know of scientificly proved relaxation exercises as well. PM if you want a link.
I wish you all the best!
PS My spell schek doesn't work, so please excuse spelling mistakes.