That's my problem too is that I grew up in the same kind of household. My dad's anger was explosive and unpredictable and painful and so very scary, whereas my mom would either yell a lot or hold long-lasting grudges and give us the silent treatment. So I never learned how to deal with it in a healthy way. H yells and then goes to bed to get over it on his own. Thankfully he has never been physical with it, I don't think he has that in him. I'm thankful he's NOT like my dad was in that way.