Quote:
Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul
NP man,I see that you are happy for her.She got less chances because of her age and medical issues.My question is are you ready for parenthood?I agree with what motts has said.Now that pregnancy happened, will you resent later if you sacrifice your time and goals now?I think it will be better if you discuss your thoughts frankly with her now and see her stance.She may expect you to continue the relationship after the child birth or she may expect you in her life permanently as the father of her child.You are very young. And you would want to experience life fully.What would you have done if this accidental pregnancy didn't happen? Did she know you were thinking of ending this relationship?Just curious to know.
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Hello sir(?),
Thankn you so much for your comment and helping, understanding my situation.
Yes, I truly am happy for her, especially given her circumstances. I believe that your question can be split into 2).
1). Are you ready for marriage?
2). Are you ready for parenthood?
The answer to the first one is no... I still want to travel and enjoy life as being single... as my partner has. From listening to her stories, it sounded like a great time which I never had... I realise that if I don't have it now and commit to a family, in which I won't be my best self (due to a lack of love for the mother of my child), I will have regrets and resentments.
Parenthood... is anyone who had an unplanned pregnancy truly ready? If you asked me 3 months ago, it would be a solid no. However, I got used to the idea now. I'm happy that my genetics are passed on. I'm happy I'll be able to make a difference to this human's life, to help shape them and make them a better person. I'm happy I'll have another person as close to me as my mother... someone I'll always love and care for (no matter the cost emotionally, physically or financially). I of course expect myself to be in her life permanently as the father of her child... and I told her that no matter what happens between us, I'll always be there for both of them. Of course she prefers me to stick around as her partner, most expecting mothers do (if their man is a genuine guy).
Thanks for asking all of these questions... it really makes me think more into my situation.
Like I said to Motts, we almost broke up because of children once... back then we got back together because we agreed a compromise... I felt that I might change in a year or two. Now that this happened, it makes me think more of her and my own friends' past experiences as being single... I always thought about it but it didn't bother me so much... now that I'm going to become a father, the feeling multiplied in magnitude. My plan before was to move to Asia first for 3-4 months, see how I'll feel being alone, without her... it was going to be a test of my emotions. It never happened, so I could never truly test myself.
If pregnancy didn't happen, my jealousy probably wouldn't grow so much... I was comfortable, but not in love.... love didn't play such a big importance for me. Love is fundamental though when becoming a family.... with that missing component, I don't think it's possible.