Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal
Ah yes, I'm not very good at dealing with those underlying causes, am I? Perhaps I need to start looking at my marriage as the festering wound that it is and has been for a long time. I'm really good at slapping a band aid over it without treating the infection first. I need to do something, though, and soon about that underlying infection. I really don't want to just turn my life upside down by leaving. I'd rather try marriage counseling first but I haven't yet figured out how to get h to agree to that.
I'm still angry about a lot of things that happened in my so-called therapy too, that I never addressed. Those things, though, I should probably address by writing a letter and then burning it.
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Artie, if you want my opinion (which you 100% did not ask for!) I think the most effective thing you could do is find a way to work on your relationship with yourself first: your emotions, your reactions to your emotions, your values and desires, etc. Once you've made some progress there, I think you'll be much more equipped to confidently handle your career and your marriage and whatever else is making you feel restless and unhappy right now. I'm a therapy believer so I would suggest an experienced trauma therapist (one who understands relational trauma specifically), but I'm sure there are other paths. It could also help you make sense of/find peace with your relationship with L too.