I won't speak for what you can or should do. I do have a somewhat similar story in some ways.
26 years is a long time to be married and it is so difficult to fathom life any other way. I, myself, was a couple with my first husband 25 years (married 17+).
I didn't want the divorce. I understand the desire to keep things together when you grow up in a broken home and are afraid of the havoc your kids will endure.
I have now been with hubby 2 nearly 5 years and he is already seeming to prefer to be alone. We are on the verge of divorce.
What I can say is that I understand the complications here that you are going through.
And I know how it feels to be in a loveless relationship. I think it may be more painful to be in loveless love than be alone. I have done both.
I would have a serious talk with your wife. Tell her these things. Get her thoughts.
If she wants counseling, consider it- you owe the situation that since you invested so much of your heart and soul in it.
If she wants out, there is your answer.
Being honest about these feelings is only putting words to the atmosphere that already exists there, so while you are afraid of hurting her with words, silence is just as powerful and speaks volumes.
Hugs to you.