Session with L went well. I'm having an "omg I can't believe I said those things" moment. It actually feels good talking, confessing, having someone still accept me. AND I'm still afraid of hurting L. She reassures me that none of this bothers her, that it will not "stick" in her mind. It's hard to believe. I think because it has done so much damage to my mind, and I don't want the same for her. However, I am making progress. I'm tempted to write up on paper the details in my mind, and give it to her on Tuesday. Just get it out there, dive into the deep end and see if we can still swim. It's haunting me for a reason, and if it really doesn't bother L, then might as well take advantage of my courage.