@RDMercer, your gut instincts are correct and I caution you to be very careful around this female colleague who is flattering you. She is coming onto you and is clearly interested in more than just friendship. Her hints are not even subtle - they are obvious come ons.

You are in a very vulnerable place, coming out of an unhealthy long-term marriage and with your codependency. You've been through a LOT, and need time to heal and be with your children. Your children are going to need support through the divorce process. They should be your primary focus, not a new woman. I am not saying or suggesting that's what you're thinking, because clearly your reaction is to come on here to write about it. I am just simply cautioning you to be very careful. I would decline her invitations.

I think looking into your codependency would help as well and getting support for it. The last thing you need is to get involved in another relationship where you find yourself once again, to be codependent. Learning about this condition and working on loosening its grip on you would really help you at this time. I encourage you to seek a professional's help or a support group around this.