Also, Dear Person, you can speak, in private, to your fathers' physician, and tell him/her of your concerns re: your fathers behavior and health.

He may well be due for tests. And his insurance (sorry, I don't know his age) should provide a weekly caretaker in the home if he needs one to make sure he is getting his needs met, if necessary.

If it is not that serious, can you speak to your father about a seasonal rental next school break, so that you can stay next to campus to continue your studies and work. you could get a studio near school instead of going home, or just work part-time at school and save the money for a studio for those few months next break - plan it early though - maybe student advisory aides can help you there ... or ck out the off campus residences that look for people to sublet for others while they take off for home during breaks, you know what I mean?

Anyway, I understand your feeling of depression, and I want to say that you are worth reading, and reaching out to, across the miles, whatever, as we have our humanity at stake here. Our feelings matter. Especially around here.

I agree with Jinnyann (((hugs to jinnyann))) that your call to the DR. about your medication not working is important and should be done right away. Increasing the dose can help. Also, grieving your mother is a process. Perhaps you can speak to someone in her family about your feelings of grief, missing her and the opportunity to see her that night. They would want to help you, I'm hoping.

Please take care and keep posting, we are listening.

peace and comfort,
nightbird