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Old Jan 24, 2023, 01:41 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post


Oh, sweetie. My heart goes out to you. I swear, nothing is worse than severe anxiety. I totally understand about not wanting to go IP, ugh. I'm so sorry if you've already mentioned this, but do you have a pdoc appointment soon, or can you call...I'm thinking of a med change. When we've tried every coping skill (and I know you're especially on top of using them), but nothing works my mind goes to "This is biochemical"- i.e., med related.
I suppose I could try but my appt is 2 weeks out and they don’t usually have extras that close. I’m not really about meds though, as you know I’ve tried most of them. For depression it’s only Emsam and sometimes Wellbutrin that work. I don’t know how my new APN feels about MAOI’s. I restarted propranolol on Sunday 2x/day so that should start to calm me down soon.

I did find old Xanax from last year so at least I have a few of those to calm me down at night. I can’t spend another night like last night. I could not breathe and even paced breathing was not helping me. I did grounding, ice, I even did mental safety statements(it’s better to write them but I can’t write very well right now). I wish I could have taken a shower. Music wasn’t even helping.

So I’m very happy I found the Xanax, and it’s even .5mg pills.

I see my therapist today and I’m hoping that she’ll have an opening later this week for an extra session. She only ever called crisis on me once in the last seven years (rightly so). She won’t force me IP or even IOP.

Thank you for your words of comfort, I appreciate them.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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Nammu