h and I got into a huge fight earlier. he got FURIOUS with me because I ****ing ASKED A QUESTION. I thought it was a perfectly legitimate question about something that I am just learning about through this house-selling process, and he took SUCH OFFENSE to my question like it wounded him physically that I asked to try to understand something better and he said I just needed to trust him and why don't I believe him. I again said that I honestly am just trying to learn. We haven't spoken since and he's in there pouting in front of the tv again.

Kit, I truly feel the same way about my marriage - I feel like this crap with h is only what I deserve; that I don't deserve anything better so I need to just stay with him because otherwise I will die alone and that thought makes me incapable of leaving. eta: this has been my fear my ENTIRE life - the dying alone thing - I watched it happen to my paternal granmother who was such a mean and just not-nice person and alienated everyone around her until that's what happened to her, she died alone.

I am a broken woman, deserving of nothing. well, nothing good, anyway.