Going skiing tomorrow =]

Ket kind of caused an opening of the pain sensitivity in the centre of my brain (Wherever consciousness begins - Maybe by some transmitting device on some other planet).

But olanzepine kicked in, and helped greatly.

I freak out about everything though. It's like, I freak out... then I die. I just want to be on vacation again.

I need money.. Lots of money. I have to find a way.. But I also have to find a hobby/something I enjoy, that will help.. Being a psychonaut, future outcomes could be in my favour - Idk. The bar has been set by the schiz, for a while..

I just don't want to be a casualty of war/the government... Or just pain from other people (Evil hallucinations) telling me that the way I live my life? Is wrong, not good enough etc.. I just wish I could read history books for weeks, months..

Why can't I? In the past, there were no distractions.. The world was way more disconnected and less toxic. There'd be your neighbours, friends etc.. The 90's seemed like some of the best of times to just live in peace.

The 60's are back again (In the 2020's) - I have to be careful what I wish for.. and all to my benefit of what I accept anyways, still...