I have a sibling who is in an unhappy marriage and neither of them will do anything about it. They have tried counseling (a giant waste) and other things, separated and gotten back together countless times ( often because they were worried about the children - who are all adults and at this point are telling them to just get divorced). My sibling keeps saying he doesn't want to make anything worse (although he also says he wants to die - so my response is usually how can it get worse - even if worse -at least it would be different). I don't want him to be unhappy -but he has several outs and won't take them -it is sad to watch someone so unhappy and so unable to make a choice that would benefit him. He focuses on what his wife does wrong - and she is focused on his failings - so they stay stuck and miserable but it is familiar.