Quote:
Originally Posted by RollercoasterLover
Read your journal and remember how miserable he made you feel. Read your opening post in this thread. Divine is right... he would see your contact as complete weakness and manipulate you even more than before. Abuse escalates until you break the cycle. And you are breaking the cycle by not contacting him. Contacting him is a doorway to more misery, not less.
You will get through this tough time. It's hard. It's OK to feel scared. It's normal. Indulge in some self care by watching something funny or singing into a hairbrush like you're 12 and your favorite song came on the radio. A few minutes to remind you that you are worthy of happiness.
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Thank you @
RollercoasterLover.
This is one of the hardest times I've had to get through. Thank goodness I'm not also dealing with covid lockdown or I'd be going nuts.
This morning when I woke up, for some reason I recall him dressing up in his nice wedding shirt to go to work on a day off. I wondered at the time WHY he was dressed up, simply to go to work for a few hours. I also wondered at the time if he was lying to me and cheating on me instead.
I do not trust him. On top of all the other crap, I just do not trust him and never could again.
I think a part of me has abuse amnesia, which I've read happens after they love bomb you. And he's been love bombing me for a long time now, leaving me only with the nicer parts of him, forgetting about the mean and abusive parts.