Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail
Hi Scarlet,
It's OK that you don't know what you want from writing this. I feel that you deserve empathy.
It sounds like you opened something up that was more painful than you thought it might be.
From an outside point of view, it sounds as though you have a solid therapeutic relationship with L. Are you able to trust in your past experiences with L to help you here?
I find that there's something powerful about having statements in writing. Obviously I don't know what that would look like for you, but maybe you could think about a short reassuring statement that L could write out for you, so that you can look at that as truth?
Over time, as I have worked on integrating self-compassion, my thoughts towards myself and my process have become a little softer.
Our experiences are always part of who we are...I don't think there's much to be done about that. Over time, I think it's more about learning how to accept yourself, and your feelings.
That is what L can help you with.
I'm impressed that you found the words to talk about something difficult.
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Thanks Lost!
I keep going back and forth between numb and "omg". It's hard to trust L because of my past experience with telling others the things I struggle with, and because I have never told anyone these thoughts. Outside of this, I do trust L. She made a point that if I didn't trust her, I would have never given her the paper.
I do have a solid relationship with L. And if she means what she says... I think a part of me will feel relief that someone still accepts me with all my badness. Another part of me just feels like it's incongruient with what I believe. I think that's going to be the hardest part in trusting her.
Either on our phone call tonight or session Friday, she's supposed to tell me a path that we can take to help me. I'm very interested because I see no way out of it. But I want to be better. I don't want these thoughts.
Thank you again.