Because that's how abuse works. It's an addiction to the highs of the good times, and the promise of all that's good. I'm not just making that up - withdrawing from and breaking up with a narcissist is similar to having to break an addiction. The cycle of abuse makes the victim addicted to their abuser. It even changes the chemicals in your brain. This is how it works, and this is what I've read all over the internet.

So, I am breaking a bad addiction that has a stronghold on me. And that's exactly what this feels like.

It may not make any sense to you, as an outsider observing, but it makes perfect sense to me. His love bombing is making me forget about his meanness, which is exactly how this works.

I need support around breaking the addiction.... his kindness lately is getting to me - and that's exactly what he wants. He wants me to give in to him being kind, and that's how most women go back and cannot break the addiction.

Do you realize that statistically it takes victims an average of 7 times to finally leave an abuser?????? 7! That is because the addiction is SO strong, because they are SO manipulative and they are SO good at love bombing, making promises of change, and wooing the victim back.

I have got to break my addiction to him. I am still trauma bonded to him. This is the hardest fight of my entire life.

If you read up on the trauma bond, and the addiction in the brain that occurs, you would understand far better.



Addiction to the Cycle
Often in trauma bonds, the stages can be cyclical; after a significant conflict, there may be a cool down or honeymoon period. At this moment of peace, the abuser might apologize and start the love-bombing process all over again, which makes the target feel relieved and desired, thus positively reinforcing a dependency on this abusive cycle.

Just a moment...