I'm 32M that was dating 23F for the past 15 months, where we were living together for the past 7 months. I know there was quite an age gap but we met organically, just had fun dates for a little over 6 weeks and things just blossomed. Her moving in kind of just happened. She had plans to move states away for a job opportunity and moved in with me temporarily. However she got cold feet and decided to move in with me permanently.

Two months ago she got a bottle service job. TBH i wasn't the most happiest about it with the late night hours and clientele she was dealing with but I fully trusted her and was as supportive as possible with dropping her off so she didn't have to find parking also adjusting my sleep schedule to pick her up after her shifts so she didn't have to walk home late at night. To anyone not familiar with bottle service she basically was working at a nightclub basically as a host/server for clients that reserve tables for premium money.

So I was out of town a month ago and when I got back logged into my computer and my GF's email was logged in and I noticed she received a $2500 paypaI payment at 4:30AM for "furniture". After questioning her, she said this guy was a regular came into the club that night and had a $3k minimum for his table. Since it was so slow they only made him pay $500 for the 1 bottle he and his crew drank and allowed him to not have to pay the minimum to reserve the booth. As a result, my gf and 2 coworkers got cut early and were hanging out in their car smoking. Apparently this guy texted 1 of her coworkers and said wanna come hang with me and my buddies at my place I'll compensate you the rest of the $3k I didn't have to spend at the club. So according to my GF she said she went up and they all just hung out and talked watching tv (said he and his buddies were watching Australian Basketball game). As they were leaving he asked them who has paypaI and sent my gf the full $2500. She said she'd split with her 2 coworkers since she was the only 1 that had paypaI. She said he's a finance guy and also has a family furniture business hence the furniture payment.

Anyway I found this all totally sketch but gave my gf the benefit of the doubt since I've never had any trust issues before. She showed me all her contacts and instagram DMs showing she never has talked to this guy and claimed she got roped into this situation. I also talked to her coworkers while driving them home 1 night from their shift they told me nothing weird happened said the guy was a weirdo and they just all hung out. I even messaged the guy on IG asking why are you sending my GF money, he explained the situation to me too. My gf knew how upset I was all week about this situation, so she went home for the weekend to give me some space and texted me, "I'll leave work at work and not put myself into any situations that make you question my character going forward."

Anyway the following week she went on a girls trip to a beach resort that was planned months in advance for her best friends bday. I really wasn't happy finding out she did ecstasy in 1 of the nightclubs after being offered some from guys her friend apparently met at the club and invited them to hang at their table.

When she got back in town, that payment + the following weekend in Miami had me a worried mess, so I logged into her phone (I had to guess her recently changed passcode too) and saw this guy has been texting her stuff like - hey are things good with you and your guy? You up? Wanna hang? Send pics from vacation. Also texted come meetup name your price. Also said remember who took care of you last time?
She really didn't respond to most of those messages. But what really hurt he texted her 1 night to hang while I had her out on a date that week and she responded to that text - can't hanging with friends. I also noticed some guy texted her in at the beach resort and she responded hey papi, he followed up saying come home with me. My gf responded the following morning like hey sorry i went home. I just was really upset seeing her flirty text with this guy.

So anyway I woke her up saying you lied to me after saying you didn't know the guy and I see him texting you really creepy stuff. I said at first I was mad about what potentially transpired that night giving you the benefit of the doubt, but what's really bothersome now is you're still semi texting him. I said you knew how upset I was about this and you did nothing to stop it, you allow him to orbit and I have no idea if I can trust anything you said. I said idk if I can do this, you gotta pack your stuff.

So she started packing her stuff, she called her mom saying I kicked her out. Meanwhile I was just making boxes for her asking lmk if she needs help. She packed a carload and I asked to talk she said their is nothing to talk about you threw me out. Meanwhile she was supposed to come back the following day with a truck but with inclement weather we had to push it off a week til after the holidays.

So for the following week I reached out a couple times just saying stuff like hey I'm sorry with how things transpired, I care about you a lot you just broke my trust etc. Basically said in hindsight maybe I should've let her talk or explain herself again but I said I felt so betrayed I acted off emotion. I said how about when I get back you can come over and we can talk to hopefully see eye to eye on this major issue. She agreed to that request even saying I'll come pick you up at airport.

Anyway the week goes by and she cancels meeting up with me that weekend saying she hurt her foot and is hobbling (but I found out she worked that night) so i said ok lets meet the next day. Next day came around I got a text around dinnertime saying I'm staying 45 mins away tonight won't work. So I texted her saying hey I need you to remove the rest of your stuff i'll give you a week deadline if not i'll rent a storage locker and give you the info to get it.

So she came the next night. I asked if she wanted to talk she said she's not in the mood to talk and that I already made my decision by kicking her out. So I started talking just to smooth stuff over saying stuff like hey I care about you a lot but this whole situation is totally unacceptable. I said you know if you're having convos with ppl that would make me uncomfortable seeing, you have to realize that's not right. I said I'm hurt you lied to me and seemingly didn't care about my feelings at all. You basically are choosing this guy over me. I said even if he books a $3k table you split tips with 10 girls you're making like $75-100 off of him at the club, I said I think theirs more going on you aren't telling me...

I said with this bottle service job I always fully trusted you and never really got into your business. However it's clear you've never been fully transparent with me about anything with this job so this incident was a real eye opener. I said its too tough for me to decide if your texting/dm'ing guys to strictly book tables for work or if theirs any side business going on and quite frankly I shouldn't have to worry. I said I really don't think its my right/fair to constantly ask you questions or monitor interactions you have. I just said there is way too much grey area because you can always have the built in excuse I'm only talking to this person because I'm trying to get them to book a table.

So I asked 1 final question I said who is this guy really and why are you still texting him after you said you don't know him? She said 1 of her coworkers must've given him her number, and that he's a regular and they talk sometimes because he books tables. Other than that I don't owe you an explanation, remember we're broken up! TBH i was really hurt with how she handled the entire situation. There was a part of me that maybe thought she'd say hey look I really screwed up and explained herself but nope she took the opposite approach and was cold and was not willing to engage in any convo.

As a result I guess it kinda helped seeing her true character and I'm chalking her behavior up to knowing she was in the wrong. So she, a friend and myself headed up to my apt I had everything boxed up already to make the move out to make it as easy as possible. Anyway seems like she's seemingly moved on pretty easily, while I've been hurt and tried giving her every opportunity to explain herself and she just didn't care to talk. It's now been about 5 weeks without contact. It hurts knowing you can invest so much time and energy into a partner and they seemingly can just walk away like nothing mattered.