I'm so glad I made the decision to see L today; setting a specific intention for how I would use the limited time was a huge help, I think. The hour was over so very quickly of course... but nevertheless, it was helpful to just slow down, sit there and feel seen and accepted, with no pressure to be anything at all but myself, while I mentally recalibrated for a bit. We talked too, of course but for a short time I just laid my head back on the couch and soaked in the peacefulness. I'm so funny though when I was ready to talk I started off by saying "I don't know how this is supposed to look today" and without giving her a chance to say anything in response I just dived in and we were off to the races like it hadn't been over a year since I'd been there last.