Setbacks.

I caved and I called him around 6 PM last night. It's like some force took over and dialed his number. I had had a couple drinks, and wanted to talk. No friend or family member was available to talk to me, so I called HIM.

Please, though, don't give me crap about it. I feel badly enough about myself as it is right now.

Naturally, he turned the conversation into one about us getting back together. Every time I tried to redirect him, he would inevitably come back to those points. And, just as everyone suspected, he interpreted this to mean that I must want him still. Well, I don't.

I also let him know that I have been let go from my job. I needed support, and he was in fact, supportive.

So, that was one set back.

The next one is that the VP of my last company looked at my LinkedIn profile last night, and also reached out to reconnect on LI. I don't know why he wants to stay connected. I had disconnected myself from most everyone from that job, including him.

But, more importantly, I lied about the results I achieved in my last job, and he viewed my profile before I could remove this info. I removed all the info that I had lied about, after accepting his request to connect.

But, now I am in a bit of a pickle because I am lying and he might have seen the lies I spun. I will give it a few days, or until Monday, and then I will have to add the info back. If he reaches out to confront me about it, I will have to be honest with him. Look dude, the last year did not help me whatsoever in my career - I had to fabricate achievements so that it seems I was successful in my role.

What else am I supposed to do? I must get a job!!!! And, I cannot leave that job blank!

And, the third set back I face today is that I got rejected for a job I was really interested in and very enthused about. I didn't even make it the first round of interviewing. The employer said my portfolio was too "light", and that I am better off in a digital marketing role that is strategic.

It was a Content Marketing Manager position for 125K! AND, two recruiters who reached out to me about it said my resume is awesome and that I would be GREAT for this role. I HATE recruiters!!!! They ALWAYS say the most positive things like that, only to have you be disappointed by a rejection in the end! They're never on the same page as the employer!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!

Then, one more thing happened yesterday that is not a set back, but another pickle I'm in.

A former client called me. He said his leads are far down on his website, and can I fix it or help him. I looked at his home page and told him it was a mess. We spoke for a while, and I said I would help him redesign his home page. He said he would pay me for an hour's worth of work. It will take me much more than an hour to rework his entire home page, but I told him money doesn't matter to me and that I am happy to help.

Now, this morning, I don't know if this is such a good idea. I don't know if reworking his home page will bring in more leads. I just don't know, and I don't have any data to base a redesign on. He cannot give me access to the data because my old agency would see it.

This is an uncomfortable position I've put myself in. Interviewing and applying for jobs is my first and top most priority. I have an interview next Wed, which will take a lot of prep time. And I must focus on job applications foremost and not this project. I said I would get it to him by next Thursday.

I am NOT in a good mood. I woke up this morning feeling really down about ALL of this. And I now wonder if my life is ruined because I had to take a month off from work a year ago and step down in my responsibility level. And now, I have to lie on my resume about my achievements as a result.

I know I am off topic talking about my career in this thread, but right now it's my life and I have got to get a job ASAP.

I am in a panic and am really bummed out.