Not sure if anyone will read but I've had it u to my head with ocd. I've been living with it my whole life but it became handicapping since two years and it's getting worse everytime.
I'm gonna try to make it simple and fast, last year because the mental torture ocd put me throught seemed unbearable. The only reasons I kept going on with life was because of bats, because I loved bats obviously. Because of ocd I dropped out of my art school. With time I had stayed home I used to have a little collection of books about bats and these things were worth more than all gold in the world to me. I had that problem of constantly washing and cleaning things when I felt they were dirty or touched by someone I disliked or touched something I touched after touching something someone I disliked had touched and so on... You get the point. But since I moved to study in another city, once again I dropped out of school and came back home. It's became much worse.
Now I fear that my books may be dirty and I f El like I cannot clean them and that I have to throw them away or else I'm going to associate the characters or animals to the irl people who hurt me while I was at the new school. The worst things is... I'm not even sure my hands were dirty before I touched them. But just in case you know. I don't want to live with anything that may have been in 'contact' with this damn city and this horrible people.
I want to sell my books to buy them again but I also need a new laptop and I'm broke. And I feel like my whole house is contamined.

Making a new thread because I really need help, I already see a therapist in real life but I've had only one appointment so far. And I see him only once a month.
I wish I could not throw away all my belonging that are important to me.
That's it.