I talked with my therapist about my mood issues lately. The high euphoria and the low depressive stuff. She said it’s to be expected with my diagnosis (my main diagnosis the past 10 years since I was 18 is schizoaffective disorder bipolar type). I was doing well for many years on my meds then started struggling again recently and couldn’t figure out why. I said it’s manageable and she said it’s just expected with my disorder but that if it gets worse to talk with my psychiatrist about a med adjustment. I don’t think I will need that. I think it’s just a kind of blip or whatever. Occasionally symptoms come through but I don’t think it necessitates a med change.

We talked about how I’m doing a lot better though. I used to be extremely impulsive and reckless when manic, and when depressed it was severe and lasted for many months to a year and I could only think about suicide and slept all day and barely got out of bed to do even basic things. Couldn’t be bothered with hygiene etc and my paranoia was bad.

Now on meds my depression doesn’t end up that severe, and my manic symptoms are pretty much under control to the point where when I experience highs it’s more like hypomania then the life damaging mania like I used to experience. So that’s good. And a majority of the time my mood is a normal level of good or neutral , thanks to meds I don’t get severe highs or lows, my mood pretty much stays stable. Although recently it’s been a little off but as she said that’s just the way these things work, sometimes there’s blips or whatever and symptoms will come through. Also I’m not dealing with psychosis level delusion anymore like when I believed my doctor was poisoning me and like the government was out to get me.

So it’s progress

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