I haven't been on much, work is crazy with some big transitions which I hate on principal but then they are not functional on top of it. Behaving myself is exhausting.

New T and I are carrying on. Tonight I had an ah ha kind of moment.

Awesome T had been a T 40ish years... basically he got his masters as a T when I was 3. He had also raised 2 daughters that are only a couple years younger than me. So to look at it kind of like a family I was totally the baby of the family. I had a loving, nurturing "parent" but through the 40 years of "kids" before me they had learned that more likely than not things would be OK. They didn't need to check the parenting book to find out what to do next or talk to the pediatrician about what developmental stage I was in. They were confident in their "parenting", knew bumps, bruises and possibly even broken bones and ER visits are just a part of living, growing, healing. They knew what the important lessons were and the ones that at the end of the day didn't really matter. I had a TON of freedom and as much autonomy in my growth as I could handle in a healthy way.

Now New T is not even fully licensed. I am a "first born". He keeps checking back to his school books, he is checking with his supervisor a lot and leaning at least figuratively very heavily on his teachers. He gets worried about every little thing. It is SO important to get it right and all the "lessons" are life and death. He hasn't had kids, heck he and his partner are thinking about getting his first pet!

Both are reasonably healthy "parents" but man the transition for this "kids" perspective is ROUGH!

In my family of origin I am an only child, a parentified child and both parents were significantly unhealthy parents

I am going to try and bring this metaphor up to new T this coming week and see if he "gets" it. I am pretty sure he was the eldest in a pretty strict, family. I can't see us ever having the relationship I have with Awesome T but I can see us doing good work. I can see that he is working REALLY hard on his stuff as it is coming up in our work together but there is a LOT of his stuff that is being brought up.

We are at a place now where I am not being harmed or overwhelmed by trying to work with him. I am learning a lot and growing a lot but it is more out of having more insight on the work with awesome T than it is directly related to New T and what he is trying to do. Honestly I am 99% sure that, at the beginning of his career, even awesome T would not have worked so hard to try and be a good T for me as New T is... but that is a double edged sword, sometimes trying too hard is just as bad as not trying hard enough.

H and I are struggling. The one DV place that was trying to work with me has decided that they do not have the resources for my situation. BUT in super good news the company I work for is looking to expand this year and they are looking at two possible locations in my home state and were open to my suggestion of a third city close to where I grew up. They are looking for "Founding employees" of the new offices and have agreed that I meet the criteria as someone that would qualify to transfer to a new office AND they would pay to relocate. I wouldn't even have to change my job or the team I am on! I don't know if it will happen or not or in the end if I would be one of the ones selected (if I was not a founding employee I could still transfer but they would not pay to relocate me). H has stated he would not stand in my way, nor would he come with me should I choose to grow with my company!