Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka
Yes, all of those so called fake ‘friends’ are definitely 100% toxic & selfish. Have they always been like that? Be straightforward & tell each of them exactly how you feel.
Tell that one friend that you don’t have the time to listen to her issues ar the moment since you need to focus on prepping for your job interview.
Maybe you never set boundaries & suffer in silence m? If so, speak up. If that friend won’t shur uo, then interrupt her & then without hesitation say that you have to go & then hang up.
Next time text these people IF you decide to keep them around. Then you can ignore their texts for awhile.
I think you’ll be much better off alone than with people who make you feel alone. Robin Williams said something to that effect.
Make better new friends. Join meetup.com. It’s free. Volunteer or take some fun classes to meet people. Join Nextdoor & post something about wanting to meet new people. I did & I have met three women so far for walks & tea.
Please ditch these self absorbed users who treat yiu like a free therapist. I have ditched toxic friends who only talked about themselves ad nauseum.
IF you do keep these people around, then never rely on them for support. Just do activities with them like going to a movie to where you don’t need to listen to them talk that much, lol 😆
I’d talk to them all in person firsr though & calmly describe how their behavior makes you feel using I statements. Like I feel dismissised & unsupported when I specifically asked for support in helping me prep for my job interview & instead you just kept talking about your personal issues.
As for the flaky one, meet her in a group so if she doesn’t show uo, you still have other people to hang out with. Don’t rely on her period. Flakes rarely ever change. Become ‘busy’ & ignore all contact with them for now.
If they make excuses or get dismissive, then it’s because they are trying to gaslight you. Set boundaries & tell them thar if they value your friendship, that things need to stop being one sided all the time.
Stay strong. Look for support online. Forget those users. Even online friends are better than real life friends who use & abuse you.
You deserve better than that. Be rude if all else fails. I personally have hung up the phone on a former friend who would constantly interrupt & talk over me. Those people didn’t deserve ANY respect IMHO, lol 😆
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Thank you for your input and advice.
The friend who didn't support me when I called? She has been more supportive in the past, but she interrupts and talks over me and it drives me insane. I've brought it to her attention before, and she still does it. I may mention this again to her to see if it makes a difference. This friend I don't want to lose per se because we talk all the time and she HAS been helpful and less self absorbed in the past.
The flaky friend? I mentioned the other day that she is MIA a LOT. She didn't reply to that and just said "let's get together" - then naturally, didn't follow up. I think I will just distance myself from her.
And the third friend going through an abusive situation? He texts me nearly every day now. I think he's a lot less harmless than the flaky friend who blows me off all the time. And lately, he's become more of a friend that he was before when I knew him. I've known him a few years - five to be exact. But I need to reserve my energy for interviews, so I will limit contact there.
And I don't feel I am in a position to make new friends. I am unemployed and am getting a divorce. I don't want to have to talk about myself or my life with new people right now. But once I'm employed again, I can branch out and try to make new friends.