Am I OK?

Well, Thanks for asking.

I'm not sure.

There were three days of text messages from my wife to realtors and me, saying the house is still for sale and we are all going to hear from her lawyer, that the house HAS to be sold this month.

I spent a few hours Sunday morning running numbers. With me covering everything as it is right now, not counting cutting her off the phone and insurance, I should be able to carry us all on my pay alone. It will be close. My oldest is in the basement apartment we are building for him now. He offered to pick up the phone bill, and possibly the electric bill, as well as split groceries. With that I'm more than OK. I have a buffer and can pay down credit. He says for him, that means he can still buy a dirt bike this summer

When I look at all her spending, her entire pay barely covered what she was spending on herself each month.

She told me for years about these powerful independent women who were working so hard, some of them working two or three jobs and paying their own way.

Well.... If she stays on her own, that will be her. I told her, these women are strong but no one wants to work three jobs to live in an apartment.

Sometime, probably soon, reality is going to hit. She is going to have to start asking people for money. Her "sisters for life" friends that talked her into all this probably aren't going to let her stay with them.

Her new single friends also told her things like, "You don't need a husband. You can always find men to do things for you. It's easy." I don't think she understands what that means. Men don't fix your car and work on your place and help you move furniture out of the goodness of their hearts. Maybe the first time you ask. After that, there's pay, or there's other expectations.

As for moving ahead with a separation, I can't afford a lawyer AND support the kids, so.... That's that. I've stopped all my legal proceedings.

She also took our youngest to see her new apartment and the new furniture she purchased, and the condo she is buying. She's been out with friends to restaurants and bars quite a lot. I think she's burning through money.

She's going to land back home some time. I'm betting by next month she won't be able to afford her rent. I'm quite apprehensive of what that will look like.

Me and the kids are doing good right now. I'm happy every day. I love being home. I love hearing them laugh, I love working on projects with them, doing homework, making meals.

I get a lot of anxiety about her coming back. I actually get sick thinking about waiting for her to get angry, and the convoluted thinking that goes with it.

RDMercer