Alcohol is a depressant so abusing alcohol brings a person down into further depressed states. Consuming alcohol leads to many bad choices and the person slowly loses more and more control over their lives. An the abuse of alcohol and Xanex is worse because Xanex is also a depressant. If the person is on antidepressants it’s bad to drink and all antidepressants and antipsychotics say right on the label not to drink alcohol.

Sadly you will probably see more disturbing mood changes in your wife. You don’t really want her exposing your two sons to her confusing mood swings and bouts of anger. The fact that you stress now about her showing up at the house is revealing how her behaviors have been actually traumatizing you. This is what your sons have been experiencing that is very unhealthy for them to the point where they fear her and want to be away from her.

IMHO she should not be allowed to enter your home and they should not have to worry about being exposed to her.