I did some compassion focused therapy years ago, in rehab, and on the day of the first group the psychologist leading the group wrote this "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility." It's saying much the same thing as Lizardlady's quote but in a gentler way and I prefer this version. I had to get to the point through therapy, where I could let go of all the bad stuff and trauma that I'd experienced and start working on myself to change how I responded to things so that I could make the positive changes necessary to move my life forward.