I think self esteem is a good thing to have. Too much would be not called self esteem, it would be called entitlement, arrogance, grandiosity or something like that and would not be healthy whereas self esteem is healthy. I suppose there is a line where healthy self esteem becomes grandiosity and is no longer healthy.

Are you sure the therapist said lower self esteem or did they maybe say lower expectations? I get hurt because I have expectations (though I feel they are not overly high, but sometimes they may be) and people disappoint. I guess no matter how minimal one’s expectations may be, if the other does not meet them, then they were too high. The answer is to accept what we get from those people or find other people who will meet our (reasonable) expectations.

It’s faulty thinking if you are trying to lower your self esteem. Self esteem is a good thing to have. It is caring and self respect.