Hey.

I havent written in a while, because my thoughts have been occupied with working in my new job and Ive been as busy as hell...

It's different tonight. I want to break down tonight. My boyfriend didnt want to see me tonight, because he was tired. Now he's not returning my texts and completely shutting me off. I'm sick of my dads drinking, its gotten too out of control now that he's lying to me again. And I miss my mum.

Im really embarrassed to say it though, even to myself. I miss her soooo much. I want her to bother with me again, I want my old mum back now, but shes forgotten about me. I'm only young and I should have her here, I should have someone to talk to but I dont and I hate it. I feel so alone.

I want to get drunk but I'd just be as bad as my dad then. I want to SI but I know my boyfriend has had thoughts of leaving me when I do it, and I really cant afford to lose somebody else. Why do I feel like this? whats wrong with me?

I dont know what to do tonight, I really dont. I dont even know why Im this upset.Im sorry for venting but I really needed to get something out.

babyg xXx