What a miserable day! As bad as depression can be, I think anxiety takes the cake, in terms of causing mental distress. Now I have both.

The pharmacy refused to fill the new order I got yesterday for a higher dose of my antidepressant. The doctor who sent it wasn't my regular provider, so she didn't specify that this was a change. It's okay. I can get by on what I have, till I see my own PCP in 2 weeks.

I sat here and just sent a brief, but very clear text to my own provider, a P.A. I just flat out told her that I am not doing good because of an upset family relationship. I told her I've had worsening depression for weeks and, now, have bad anxiety.

Normally, I don't discuss mental health issues with my provider. I figure there's nothing she can do about them. But this is getting out of hand. I'm becoming a wreck. I just had a sob-fest. If this keeps up, I might have to see a pdoc. I doubt that would help anything. Where I get my healthcare, it's extremely hard to be referred to a therapist. I don't think that would even help. I did all that stuff for years.

But today I feel myself becoming unglued. So I told it to my primary. Maybe it did me good just to express that. I feel a little less awful.