I am up early watching some medical videos on mental health. I heard a really great insightful speech that I wish more doctor's would take to heart. "I can improve all your symptoms but not improve your life. I want to do both as a clinician". There is so much truth to that statement. There is a thread someone started talking about diagnoses and medicines and how we feel about them and I think that really got me to thinking about that -- we need more people to realize we are not a list of symptoms but genuine people who suffer through living with them. Doctors tend to lose sight of that sometimes and I found it refreshing to hear one talk in terms of a person, not a diagnosis.

I know I come and go so much it's hard to keep up or to really following anything in my life, but it is very mundane and monotonous. I don't do much to be honest so you're not missing anything -- I'm still doing my best to contribute more here. I'll just share some thoughts I'm having today -- if anything tracks interest I'll make a thread, but in general I don't think anything I'm saying goes beyond just talking about my day. My days have been really improved within the last year or so with therapy and medicine changes (finally something that is at least stable, but not exactly optimal for me). I'm really grateful for my progress and my quality of being -- even if my "quality of life" is still not viable, my well being is a lot better which in turn, makes it all worth it.

I think today I will spend some time in self reflection and accumulate some positive emotions by being able to see where I've been and where I am going. I think it's an important thing for us to do from time to time-- to check in with ourselves. I really like utilizing the idea that this moment is not indicative or anything but that very moment. The next may change -- I may change. It may be just a blip in the grand scheme of things. I find that to help me through when I get overwhelmed and I start self-sabotaging thoughts. I almost laugh looking back at how easily my brain goes to "Screw it, just give up everything" when things don't go according to plan. I'm just glad through therapy my almost automatic next thought it "That's not a good option. This is a setback and we can take steps to overcome it. Don't give up all the good for a momentary issue." I went through that just last week when my psychiatrist appointment was supposed to be in person but my car wouldn't start. Initially I was like "I give up. I'll just stop taking medicine all together and give up therapy. It's too much hassle. Nothing ever works out right", but came around to "Email the clinic (you CAN'T get through on the phones. Ever), and see what can be done for your appointment. Go from there. Take your meds, do what you can to get them refilled, and ***** about it in therapy later." lol.

Anyway, point in all that is just that's some serious growth for me. I know myself a lot better-- I know how my diagnoses affect me well enough to give me insight into how to respond. In terms of mood, bipolar is lifetime illness and I'm grateful I know my triggers and warning signs.


Sorry for my rant, but just wanted to share where my mind is today. Share my thoughts. Thanks for reading.