Awesome T was a rare animal indeed. He took the time and trouble to make sure you felt safe, week after week; before you even could think about trusting him. How many Ts make the effort to do that? Not many.

It is understandable that you view new T with suspicion and why you feel so lost and confused. He doesn't have the experience and wisdom of Awesome T (yet).

I think you are very brave embarking on this continued journey with a T who has far less knowledge and experience than Awesome T. It doesn't seem right somehow, that he should be learning from you, while you are paying him for his expertise. But I admire your courage for doing it.