I am so sorry you are going through this @CallmeJohn

Dementia is an awful condition, affecting both the person who is diagnosed with it, and everyone close to them. My heart goes out to you.

One thing to remember is that the dementia is not your Grandma. It sounds simple but is a really important distinction to have firmly in your mind. The things your Grandma says and does, are not fundamentally 'her'. If you can separate the two, it may be easier to cope with.


Your mind is remembering (and therefore interracting with) her as she was, not as she is now. That is a perfectly normal and logical thing to do, but it will smack you square in the face every time. Try and think of her almost as split into two parts. Grandma whom you used to know, and Grandma who exists now. Her body and outward appearance are still 'your Grandma', but her mind has fallen prey to the dementia and is no longer the person you once knew. It sounds incredibly harsh I know, to think of a loved one like that, but I know from personal experience, that if you don't learn to separate the two, it will hurt a whole lot more.